I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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