Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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