There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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