i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
