I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
