is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
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