If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
