Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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