This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
