question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
