Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
