I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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