I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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