why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
