my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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