People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
