you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Congratulations! We have a period
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
