I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
