I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
