yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
