just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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