so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
