Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
