is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
please don't ironically join a cult
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