i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
