I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
