Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
