You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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