Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
