good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
