Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
