I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
