i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His nipple licking is glorious
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