There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The struggles of a small town man whore
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
