i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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