Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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