Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
