It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
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