Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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