I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
