better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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