It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
