I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
