walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
