if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This is classic penis vs brain.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
