just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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