party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
