CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just gift wrapped bread.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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