THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
