her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
