We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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